17 May 2011

So let the memories be good for those who stay

It’s settled now, and I have a good job at a good university.

Of course, I still have about an unknown quantity of résumés floating around the ROK, waiting for responses, but I couldn’t stand the anxiety of everything being unresolved anymore.[1]

The job that I’ve accepted starts next month. There was a second potential job that would have started after my current contract ends. While I’m happy enough with the job I’ve accepted, because it starts next month I won’t be able to visit the States any time soon. I’m a bit sad about it, really, because it would be nice to see people who care about me. I’ve made friends here… But life here is strange in some ways, because people are always leaving… it’s hard to think of anyone caring much when anyone else goes. When I do leave, it won’t be much different from one pebble being taken away from the beach. Even if the pebble’s a really fantastic pebble, there are thousands of others around, so it’s neither noticeable nor worth fretting about too much about the one that’s missing. [2]

And no one will remember me or think much about me when I’m gone.[3] This is how it is for everyone, I suppose, but it’s occasionally pleasant to think I somehow matter to someone. At least I know my mom misses me in Ohio, so I guess I’m sad I won’t see her[4].

Although… For a couple of weeks I didn’t go to my regular tofu lady, because I was broke, and her dubu is a little spendy. When I did return to her shop, she was so happy to see me, and told me that she missed me. So maybe the dubu lady will miss me… but I think telling people you miss them is kind of a polite thing that Koreans do.

Anyway, yeah. Just get used to one place, and then it’s time to go… But hey! Good job. Some trepidation... In other words, same ol’, same ol’.

[1] Oh, the lack of sleep… murder. Murder. I’ve become too well-acquainted with 3am. Not good for a person who generally wakes at five, whether she wants to or not. There’s nothing like being awake at 3am to make me miss the twenty-four hour diners of Brooklyn, though. Eat some rye toast, read a bit, chat with the diner’s proprietor who can’t help but wonder what a nice, sober girl like me is doing there in the middle of the night.

[2] “I was like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me.” It’s an Isaac Newton quote that has nothing to do with anything. I only know it because it was a practice drill I used when I was learning to type. I like it well enough, anyway, so I’m sharing it.

[3] Here’s one of the things about being the sort of person who listens more often than speaks… I end up knowing and caring a lot more about people than they probably realize. So even after I leave I know I’ll be wondering about this person’s knee problems, or this other person’s daughter, or a third person’s chronic digestive issues. I think about my second college roommate all the time, and I haven’t seen or spoken to her in ten years. I still remember childhood friends’ birthdays... In addition to this, I am particularly clingy. I try to keep it under wraps, but if you even sort of vaguely think of me as your friend, there’s a good chance that in my head I’ve adopted you as friend for life. It’s kind of like when Taran feeds Gurgi in The Black Cauldron; all you did was give me a damn apple and now you’re stuck with me forever.

[4] Also: Sad I won’t be able to find shoes that fit. Or pants. Or bras. Not that I’m at all large-chested. It’s just that the bras here are adorable in their tininess.


  1. I will miss you. I have been in Korea nearly 3 years and I miss all the folks that have passed by me. Since I don't plan on planting a life in America mine is over here. And it is hard seeing folks come and go. But I have definitely made more pals than ever since living here. :) Plus I think Tom misses you anyways haha.

  2. Let's meet up sometime after you move :)

  3. Tom just misses eating my sponges and engaging in sneak attacks on Kaiju.

  4. Anonymous18 May, 2011

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